Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
