you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
