Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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