It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
