Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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