i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
