I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
