careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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