hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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