Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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