You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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