After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
