so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
