I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
