i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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