Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
