They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
