if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
