Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
