escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
