At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i think i scared a bird with my dick
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
