I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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