its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
