I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
