erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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