I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
