I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
