If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Sober January is a disaster.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
