Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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