someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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