Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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