also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
