I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i would punch a child for taco bell
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
