guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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