Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
