HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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