I got chris browned last night
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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