____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
