I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i dont even know how to be here
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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