Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I DEMAND FORESKIN
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
