That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
