I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
