Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
