Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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