i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
