My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
