And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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