woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
