those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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