I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
