Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
